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Eastern Margins

Stanley

by Rainbow Chan

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  • USB Flash Drive + Digital Album

    Cassette shaped USB Drive
    Each USB comes with exclusive bonus files individually customised by Rainbow Chan
    8GB Storage
    Limited to 50 copies

    This cassette USB is a physical accompaniment to Stanley, a physical representation of the love embedded in the cassettes of Rainbow Chan’s grandmother. The cassette USB represents the performative romanticism of Stanley. An object that reproduces the past to map the future - the paradox of nostalgia.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Stanley via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
Heavy 沉重 03:44
You know the neon signs that flicker when they’re broken? Well that’s how my heart feels tonight, it’s been seven days since we’ve spoken. I avoid the backstreets that we used to take, for the fear of running into you with nothing new to say. Makes me heavy, it makes me heavy inside. Orange blossoms everywhere, but not here, not now, not tomorrow. And the things that used to lift me up feel like strangers in my sorrow. I avoid the backstreets that we used to take, for the fear of running into you with someone else today. Makes me heavy, it makes me heavy inside. My eyes are closed when I see your face, so clearly. It makes me heavy.
2.
Lemony-yellow Flower of the flowers reminds me when I clambered to the top of your tower. Woody and radiant plum-like fruits in fall seeped through my clothing as I longed to be yours. Ylang ylang even after all these years you take me to that place. Woody and radiant plum-like fruits in fall. Your fragrance still haunts me even ten years on. Ylang ylang even after all these years you take me to that place. Ylang ylang even after all these years you take me to that place. (in Cantonese) Every time I smell this perfume I think about myself ten years ago, staring at you, wide eyed and teary. I think even when I'm 100 years old I won't forget your scent.
3.
Idols 偶像 03:59
Going off my medication, I'm confronted by my ugliest self. Sometimes my imagination is more frightening than the mouth of hell. My teacher said I won't go to heaven cos there were idols in my parents' house. As a big girl I'm still idolising all the pricks who could keep me aroused. What happens after I win your heart? What happens after love? At the delta you will find my secrets, some too shameful to put into words. But when the river flows I don't give a fuck about what's deserved and what's bad luck. So my lover you shall drink in plenty from my river when the fruits are sweet. Cos one day when all the bees are gone then together we will gently weep. What happens after I win your heart? What happens after love? Love Love Love Love What happens after I win your love? Love Love Love Love
4.
Did we fall from the same branch? Are we two halves of a peach? With our stoney hearts and tender flesh longing to return to each other. Did we meet in another life? If we did, let this be the ninth. Cos I can’t stand to lose you again. I’ll treat it like the final time. It’s not about possession. To no one will I be wed. But I admit you’re my obsession. I can’t get you out of my head. Did you get my love note in the form of my dimples? I can’t hide my smile when you are near. Love has never been so simple. It’s not about possession. To no one will I be wed. But I admit you’re my obsession. I can’t get you out of my head. Did you get my love note in the form of my dimples? I can’t hide my smile when you are near. Love has never been so simple. Love has never been so simple. Love has never been so simple.
5.
A hole in my heart in the shape of you, I keep on sensing that we are through. I heard that the sun split up from the moon. Well maybe that is why I’m confused. I feel so incomplete A table and empty seats Unable to believe I’ve been holding onto you for too long. Down falls the rain on cobblestones, along this weary path, I’m alone. And a winter coat won’t keep you warm, when memories of love have long gone. And stories have beginnings, but tragedies are only ever endings. So my heart keeps on breaking. I’ve been holding onto you for too long. It doesn’t make sense, It doesn’t make sense. I’ve forgotten what I’m worth. I’ve forgotten all I deserve. A sentence with no doing word. Now I know I don’t love you anymore. Now I know I don’t love you anymore. I know I don’t love you anymore.
6.
You’re not him. Oh, you’re not him. You’re not him. Oh, you’re not him. I almost said his name when I ran my fingers through your hair. My sleepy self expected to see his hazel eyes open softly in the morn, but instead I’m greeted by your stare. I’ve drawn this out too long. I want him in your place, holding me. But you think I’m devoted to you. But you’re not him. You’re not him. You’re not him. Oh, you’re not him. You dreamt of her again as you cradled me through the night. The details of her smile, the creases under her eyes, that you’ve grown to know so well. But instead you’re learning to love mine. I know you hate to dwell but sometimes you wanna kiss her one more time. You want to know that she’s doing fine. But I’m not her. I’m not her. I’m not her. No, I’m not her. You’re not him. I’m not her. But at least we have each other. I know it might be foolish, but let’s pretend we were meant to be.
7.
8.
你可知曉 破碎的霓虹燈仍會閃爍 今晚,我的心也是如此, 忽明忽暗 漫漫七天流逝,你我已成為歷史 我避開我們曾共遊的後街 若是與你不期而遇 相視,緘默不語 倍感沉重 似有千鈞之石在胸口 橙花馥郁,遍地盛放 唯獨不在此處,此時,明日,無緣花香 那些事物曾將我的雙目點亮 光芒消散,背影黯淡 我避開我們曾共遊的後街 若是與你不期而遇 相視,緘默不語 倍感沉重 似有千鈞之石在胸口 腦海中只有你,每一寸肌理 如此清晰 我的心沉沉而鬱

about

Inspired by the recorded mixtapes of Rainbow Chan’s grandmother’s bedside, Stanley is like an old, loved tape, re-recorded and passed down through generations of family, but always retaining traces of its warm core. Completely self produced, Stanley is a celebration of classic song-writing through melancholy and nostalgia.

'Over the last year, Hong Kong, my birthplace, has undergone significant changes. Not being able to travel back due to COVID-19 only amplified my feelings of loss and sadness. What would be left when I returned? In isolation, I started to write farewell songs - half addressed to a lover, half addressed to the city. I conjured the sounds of my childhood – Teresa Teng, Momoe Yamaguchi, Faye Wong. These great singers have perfected the sentimental ballad, turning grief into a beautiful flower or a delicate hand gesture. On this EP, I’m leaning into this performative romanticism. As always, there is an underlying experimental electronic spirit to my music, inspired by the sounds of Mica Levi and Japanese pioneers like Yellow Magic Orchestra. These songs ultimately celebrate classic song-writing through melancholy and nostalgia.'

Rainbow Chan

credits

released November 25, 2021

All tracks written, produced and performed by Rainbow Chan, 2020-2021
Heavy 沉重 (Chinese Version) translated by Entity 97 and Rice Yao
Mixed by Matthew Hadley
Mastered by Andrei Eremin
3D Artwork by Cattin Tsai
Design by Anthony Ko and Fat Boy Zine
Cover Photograph by Walter Maurice
Rainbow Chan wears Jillian Boustred

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Rainbow Chan Sydney, Australia

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